It’s all or nothin’, and this time I mean business. Every day I’m going to work out, juice until lunch, eat fruit until dinner, journal my 3 pages, do my affirmations and gratitude, clear my chakras, meditate, write my blog, see my clients, walk the dogs, and work my 50 hour a week day job. I’m also going to finish my masters, become a yogi, compete in a fitness contest, receive my life coach certification, and build a high traffic website all within a year. I have my day down to 5 minute intervals, my diet down to the calorie, and my shopping list down to the dollar. If I just control it enough, push enough, pay attention enough then I will make change. I can force change. Dammit I will white knuckle it until I see results and when I see results there is no turning back… I don’t care what the demon sisters from past tales have told. I can do it. I was told I can do anything… right?
Darn right I can do anything; anything for about a week. My quick start personality gets me geared up and moving to achieve whatever shiny new goal has caught my fancy for the moment. But after the first week of trying to move from couch potato to social super hero the bottom craps out and I’ve run myself back into the same rut of sitting on the loveseat, hoovering ho-ho’s, while zoning out to the droning of reality TV. I have accomplished nothing except proving to myself that I am a failure (just as I had suspected), yet again.
Woe to me who is doomed to the life of a slug. I shall succumb to a pool of anguish seated on the sidelines of life instead of actively pursuing my destiny… or something along those lines.
I know this story. This was my story; until I chose to stop telling it. I so desperately set myself up to fail, and miserably fail I do when I fall into these patterns. I have gone through the cycle of mapping everything out to the detail and trying to control all forces with a vice grip until freak out happens. I then flip to the alternative of jumping head first into the finish line before training for the race. If the goal wasn’t massive, I wasn’t motivated.
This behavior is doomed to failure and both approaches will put me back on the sidelines. Why? A positive intention coupled with effective goal setting and complete commitment were lacking from my approach.
All goals must begin with a positive intention in order to attract the desired result. One of my passing fancies was to compete in a fitness contest. It seemed like a great goal at the time because it could bring positive results in my physical appearance. However, when analyzing the driving force behind the desired outcome the likelihood of achievement was low because the longing for more came from the discomfort of a negative thought: I don’t want to be fat and unfit.
A goal set to disprove an existing core thought is doomed for failure. Your thoughts create your emotions, your emotions drive your actions and your actions create your world. So, if the thought I am choosing as my mantra in my quest for greater fitness and physique is that I don’t want to be fat and unfit, then I am going to get more of that, more of the not wanting to be fat and unfit.
An important paradigm shift that must happen is to change the focus from trying to move away from the unfit thought to moving toward a healthy thought. If my focus is the health, that is currently present in my life, and I begin to ask myself the question, “how can I achieve greater health and fitness”, the areas of my life that will grow is greater health and fitness.
Getting to the root of what you believe is critical if you are trying to change your behavior. A great way to inquire into this is the 5 Why’s. Once you know the thoughts that are driving your behavior you have the opportunity to use those thoughts to create a positive intention that move you closer to the desired outcome.
- What is your goal that you are trying to achieve?
- Do you know the driving force behind it?
- Are you trying to move toward something you desire or are you trying to move away from that which you don’t like?
Get clear about your motive. If it is positive, begin to grow that in your life and place your focus and energy there. If it is negative, decide to change it. Only you have the aboslute power to change your mind. Turn your thoughts into an intention that serves you and places you on the path to your desires.